Five Unusual Ways Australia Can Beat Spain

Source: AAP/
With Tim Cahill out, the Socceroos will need some fire power to beat Spain. Source: AAP/

With the Socceroos final clash against Spain less than 24 hours away, we’ve looked at five unusual ways our boys could get one over the previous World Cup champions.

1. Recruit a super-sub

In one of the roles that made him famous, Hugh Jackman sang the words of Peter Allen’s “when my baby smiles at me I go to Rio’’. Well, given Australia’s need for a goal scorer in the next match, and Hugh’s knack at being good at everything, maybe he should be sent to Brazil. Imagine the Spaniards surprise when they learn their defensive formation will need to deal with Mr Triple Threat himself. Heck, given Hugh’s many talents, he could even save FIFA a few pennies and sing the national anthem. Did we mention he has flawless hair?

2. Grease is the word

Maybe the Socceroos could instead call on another famous actor in John Travolta. JT was considered a lucky charm by previous Socceroos squads after he flew in to see them qualify for Germany’s World Cup 2006. Then again, isn’t Travolta an ambassador for Qantas? Hmm, maybe JT is not the best person to be backing a winner on the world stage then.

3. Where art thou goal?

It’s called a goal and supposedly you are meant to aim at it. It seems a disease has inflicted the Spanish team rendering it totally oblivious that at either end of the football pitch there is a big oblong thing with a net attached to it. Thankfully our boys are already well versed in identifying the said target, so far scoring three goals to their one.

4. I feel the need, the need for speed

We wouldn’t want to infer the Spanish team is slow, but if it was a two-horse race over 10km against a hippo, on current form we’d be backin’ the hippo. There’s an old saying that slow growing trees bear the best fruit. Well, the Spanish tree is bearing nothing but rotten apples at the moment. Thankfully, the young Socceroos are faster than hungry seagulls chasing the last chip at the park.

5. This time we’re playing for sheep stations

The game between the Socceroos and Spain, while important for both sides and national pride, will not have any influence on the result of the 2014 World Cup overall. Apparently it is what’s known as a ``dead rubber’’. Now, we’re not sure what that means translated in Spanish, but in terms of Australian slang it ….. well ….. we’ll leave it to your imagination…. but it’s something to get excited about. Go Socceroos!